Obama Believes in Aliens From the Planet Kolob

I got an email from one of the "list" I'm on which tends to be fairly religious right-wing and heavily R'd. In the past, I've been attacked for responding to things on that list that were seen as, well, anti-Christian or somehow or other of the Devil. Since I don't believe that abortion is the purest of evils, straight from the pit of hell, that pulsates from D.C. and that all else pales in comparison to this vile depredation, I apparently don't believe in God.

Anyway, this email I got tonight focused on an interview in which Obama (which, for most of these Hannity-lovers means "Satan" or "Beelzebub") apparently slipped that he could be a Muslim. OK, that's taking it out of proportion. Apparently he was talking about the issue of how he's accused of that, but taken out of context, he says that he has Muslim faith. I guess the Righteous Republican Right Chrsitians are having a field day with that snippet. To be fair, this email was not doing so, but merely had a Washington Post writeup on the issue. Of course, the reasoning behind it being sent (when most other news of similar vein is ignored on that same list) is up to question.

So I responded with, as my friend Dale described of my previous post, my usual "flair and reserve." Enjoy:

Why, exactly, is this important again?

Let's say, for argument, that Obama is a Muslim and follows the faith of Islam. How, exactly, does that make him less qualified to be President?

GW Bush claims to be a devout Christian. Has he acted so? Bill Clinton also claimed Christianity as his faith. Did he act it?

I wish people would take their head out of their posteriors and realize that this football game they're showing the minute-by-minute plays on that we call the Presidential race is nothing but a show. It's a bunch of bright shimmery lights designed to take your mind off the real issues, the real problems, and to distract you from noticing what's really going on around you. People think "Oh,the economy's bad. Gas prices are too high. I wish someone would do something about it. We'd better elect a new President so he can fix it for us."

WHERE, exactly, DOES IT SAY THE PRESIDENT MAKES ANY LAW? DOES THE PRESIDENT EVEN HAVE THE POWER TO ENFORCE LAW? ENACT IT? WRITE IT? DECLARE IT?

The President's job is to be a front man. We've turned the Oval Office into nothing more than a de facto elected dictatorship because we don't pay attention. We think government is going to fix the problems.

GUESS WHAT! GOVERNMENT IS THE G*DDAMNED PROBLEM!

Let's say the terrorists on 9/11 had missed their targets entirely and had blown up the Congressional building in Washington, D.C. Would we still have History Channel specials about 9/11, build memorials to all the poor, dead politicians who gave their lives like heroes, and make commemorative silver-plated plaques for the event? No, we'd talk about the day we were freed from those jackasses who rape, steal, plunder, and murder We The People. We'd probably have a national frikkin' holiday by now!

I say we handle the world's worst terror problem right now, today, without wasting time electing a new anal operative to office. I say we march down to the Treasury Building in Virginia and we blow the place sky high. I say we shoot every cottonpickin IRS agent, DEA agent, and all the contractors who supply everything from paperclips to computers to the Department of the Treasury and throw their bodies out to sea to feed the sharks in International waters because those sons of bitches don't deserve to be buried like Americans.

Then I say we point our guns at Washington and we tell them to leave us the hell alone and get back to doing what they're supposed to be doing, which is exactly what the Constitution tells them to do. If they step over the line, we'll come for them. That simple.

You know why we aren't doing that? Because we're afraid. We're afraid that they might get angry, or it might screw something up, or the boogey men lead by Osama (who lives in a God forsaken cave, you dolts) might come get us. Or maybe because we aren't Americans anymore. Maybe because we're all just a bunch of ninnies who would rather whine about how bad things are and how they should be changed.

Remember when the British told the Scots-Irish who lived on the frontier that they were going to come for them if they didn't support the Crown at the time of the Revolution? Remember what those boys did? They picked up their rifles, kissed their wives and children goodbye, and marched over the mountains to the British camp and slaughtered them like dogs. When they were done, they marched back home and went back to work.

What do we do today? We elect a new slick-talking lawyer to office and hope he wasn't lying to us during his campaign and will actually do at least some of what he said he'd do. What happens EVERY TIME? They forget we exist as soon as they smell the Potomac and we get anal raped again.

I, for one, am tired of being sodomized and I don't care how big Bubba who runs this prison yard is. I'm taking him down.

Now, Mr. [list owner's name removed], feel free to take whatever portion of this you prefer, make it bold and highlighted and all out of proportion to everything else, put two or three words in the subject line that set the tone to make me look anti-Christian and in the wrong, and forward this to all the good Christian ninnies on your list who'll then lambast me with their emails about how I'm going to hell and how they'll pray for my sinnin soul and whatever else. Meanwhile, they'll continue to judge people purely by what their demi-gods Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity tell them and go on believing that if someone proclaims themselves to be a good, honest Christian, that must be so and they'd better get elected over the hateful, evil, obviously-not-like-us opposition. Better if that good Christian also has the holy R after his name. That'll always wipe the slate clean.

Instead of voting, buy guns, ammunition and learn to use them. Send letters to the politicians telling them you didn't vote because you don't like any of them and if they don't give up and go home, you're coming to their office, armed and ready, and they are gonna go home at gunpoint. It's time to clear the temple of the peddlers and the thieves.

But wait? Who will lead us? We need a leader! Someone has to show us the way! Ya, sure, I forgot about that. Maybe Monson or Graham or one of them will step up to the plate for us.

--Aaron

"I own guns, I tell politicians to shove it up their ass, and I otherwise generally act like the American that I am."

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