The Militant Libertarian

by Aaron's Randomocity

So I get sent this email with the subject line "What the Liberal Media Aren't Telling You About Obama's Healthcare Plans."

I didn't even open it. I just deleted it. I mean, comon. I know what they're not telling me: they're not telling me pretty much everything. Duh. The media (liberal or not) doesn't ever tell you anything. They're worthless. So why would I bother reading about what some crackhead sending me email says they aren't telling me.

I'm already convinced they aren't telling me anything anyway. So whatever Obama, Hillary, Glenn Beck, that Republican from Tennessee, or anybody else is in favor of, I know I'll hate it.

In fact, it's pretty much come to the point where if the says "law" or "legislation" or is anything even remotely related to those things, I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna hate it.

You know? Screw these people in Washington and all these wannabe political pundits who're gonna tell me that the "liberals" are going to "do this, that or the other" or that the "conservative bigots" are gonna do "the other, that or this."

If your whole political world devolves to "liberal" vs. "conservative," you're as much as jackass as whoever it is you're currently "hating" because they're a "liberal" or a "conservative."

Here's my view of politics: it's "us" versus "them."

We (us) are the regular everyday people who just wanna live our lives, have jobs, and do stuff like regular Americans. Maybe we wanna cook hot dogs or go shooting clays or have a gay pride parade or go to the church of the wombat. Whatever it is, we just wanna be left alone to do it.

"Them" are the rest of the lot. The ones who want to control when and what kind of hot dog, how often and where the wombat can be worshipped. Those a-holes.

So as soon as you tell me that something important is happening in the State House or the White House or any other capitalized mansion of a building, I hate you and everyone involved in whatever it is you're telling me about.

Shut up already. I know, I know, they're screwing us. I don't know what you learned in Civics class, but I know what I learned: government exists to put things in people's butts and tell them how great it is for them. Government is made up of perverted proctologists who haven't learned about lube and don't wear rubber gloves.

So here's my thoughts: if your ideas don't involve the mass murder of politicians and their lackeys, I could give a shit less about what you're thinking. Shut the hell up and find someone else to spew your clap-trap to.

Yes, I'm with the terrorists. Ask anyone in D.C. or any of the alphabet-soup agencies out there. It's well established. I'm described in all their reports.

Oh well. Remember? I don't care about them. They're part of the system that I no longer believe in or give a flying rat fart about.

OK, the rant is over. Make sure to send it to your friends.

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Got comments? Email me, dammit!
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